Today was a nice day. Great weather, and I got done with work early, which allowed me some time to enjoy a free afternoon at the DeYoung Museum, since it was First Tuesday. Wonderful.
So, after a quick client meeting downtown, I hopped on the Mighty N and started reading The Onion, and the train was not too crowded. Little did I know my Larry David Day was going to be starting up fairly soon.
Sometimes people-watching is part of the MUNI experience, but today was not one of them – I just wanted to go to the museum and avoid any MUNI related mayhem. As such, I did not notice the mom with the two kids get on the train at Duboce and Church.
More people got on the train. And all the while I didn’t really pay attention to these folks and this noise a few seats away. Finally one of the kids built up into a crescendo of noise. “MOM! Look over there! MOM! Look over there! MOM! Look over there!”
Jeez, kid, why don’t you record it on an MP3 and relax the vocal cords. Whatever. I kept reading The Onion.
“MOM! You SAID Dad was on a business trip, but he’s not. He’s over THERE!”
Ha ha, I thought. Someone’s getting busted. This is some serious MUNI Street Theater! I kept reading, looking around for someone who’s apparently in some trouble, maybe in some salacious affair or whatnot.
The mom kept shushing the kids, trying to keep ’em in line. Finally the older one (I have no idea how old kids are and can’t tell by looking so who knows) says as loud as he can “MOM! He’s wearing a black tshirt, he’s sitting in the middle of the train, and he’s RIGHT THERE READING THE PAPER!”
Oh. Crap. W.T.F???
I did my best to hide. Clearly, I resemble some child’s dad, which, while sad for the child and all, does make me feel a little good, but what in the Hell is the Emily Post etiquette for being mistaken as someone’s Not At Home Dad by some kid on the N Judah?
I did my best to hid behind the paper, but it was for naught. Fortunately, “Mom” was cool and said “Kids, that is NOT Dad, and I’ll prove it.”
Oh. Frak. Me.
The woman came over and smile and said “I’m really sorry about this…you do kind of resemble my husband, but I need to prove it, and, um, well I can’t get my kid to settle down.”
We were winding down Carl Street at this point and frankly I would have been happy to press a magic button and get an ejector seat out of that frakking N just to avoid this very situation. Give me violent hobos any day.
“Kids…this is NOT dad. He’s just some guy on the train. Now cool it!”
Just some guy on the train. Hmm. Not bad. I was worried she was going to say something worse, but hey, all in day’s work. I wanted to give her a card and say “hey I’m not just some guy on a train, I’m the guy who blogs about the train,” but then I realized just how seriously lame that sounds and went back to reading the interview with Will Farrell.
Cue the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.
PS: The museum was awesome, as always, and the view from the tower was spectacular!
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